Why Women Are Their Own Worst Enemies

Boy, this week has been a hell of a week. I’ve been threatened, blocked, put down, told I am elitest, ‘white’ privileged, blah blah. Not by any man of course – men aren’t usually that nasty. By women of course. And what’s worse, other escorts. Women who are supposed to be on the same team.

My crime was having an opinion on social media. A terrible, risky thing to have these days, I know.  An escort mentioned something about sex workers being angry in this country. I replied ‘I don’t know why sex workers are so angry in Australia. We have it pretty good here.’

Oh dear. Well, didn’t that unleash the fury. Any excuse to jump down my ‘elitest’ neck. “It’s OK for women like YOU…’  And of course, the predictable passive aggression about my book deals and/or any remote success I may have had.


Stop being so, um, angry? We aren’t stoned to death, cops don’t honey trap us, we are not bundled into police cars. Last time I looked, I didn’t see a group of hookers in ripped stockings in handcuffs at my local cop shop.

Try working on the streets of Sao Paulo, or in the male-domainted cites of Middle East where women are flogged in public squares. They’ll even lock you up in modern cities like Hong Kong and Singapore.

You won’t need to fill out pesky little forms like you do here (how ANNOYING), but you may end up dead at the bottom of the ocean. Or thrown into a sweaty jail.

In fact, a lot of sex workers come to Australia to work, because it’s safer, legal in NSW and Victoria, and there is more money to be made. Tell them how angry you are, and they will laugh in your face.

Yes there are some archaic laws; Victoria needs to get with the times and of course sex work should be decriminalised in EVERY state. We shouldn’t rest on our laurels, more needs to be done. And I can slowly see that happening; progress is being made.

But last time I checked, bitching and being angry doesn’t make people sit up and notice. Trying to knock someone down because they’ve been successful achieves nothing. Stop acting how people assume sex workers act; angry and mad.

How about spreading positivity and be nicer to each other? How about holding up women who succeed instead of knocking them down? Encouraging success instead of berating it.

I never said Australia was perfect, but we have it pretty bloody good to most countries around the world. And that’s a fact ladies.

But this angry mob don’t need much excuse to fire up.

Since I wrote my first book Hooked back in 2014 and outed myself as a journalist turned escort, I have been subject to harassment, bullying and the most vitriolic judgement. Not by my community, school mums or anyone in my ‘real’ life. Everyone in my real life has been intrigued, fascinated, curious and hungry for the stories. And what people say behind your back is none of your business.

But by the women I was trying to stick up for – other sex workers – who decided I was elitest, publicity hungry, a liar, made it all up…. and the list goes on and on.

To think I’ve spent the past three or so years banging on about what a great industry the adult industry is, and how compassionate and amazing the women are.

Unfortunately, I have been proved wrong.

Apart from a select few, I’ve never encountered such an angry, bitter, jealous group of women. So angry and bitter I dread to think the service they give to their clients. Tall poppy syndrome? More like Amazon bloody Rainforest.

My crime of course, was writing two best selling books, and promoting those books (who wouldn’t?), writing for the media, and becoming a media personality, in my attempt to promote what I still believe to be a great and empowering industry.

I like to think in the few years I’ve been public I have been among a list of sex workers who has given the industry a mainstream voice. A voice that isn’t man-hating, angry, bitter and jealous. I like to think because I have stuck my neck out there, it’s helped pave the way for other women who might be battling with lack of courage or perhaps shame. I wasn’t the first to do it, I won’t be the last; but at least I’ve done something.

Do these women think my choices are easy? I have to deal with stigma, I’ll always be ‘that woman.’ I even get dumped by a boyfriend and it’s in the papers. Do they think I have chosen an easy path, as they hide behind their airbrushed photos and anonymous social media accounts? I’d love to know how they are sticking their neck out for the industry? (bullying doesn’t count).

Yes I charge a lot of money, because I deserve to. I’ve worked bloody hard to get to where I am. But according to my peers, we should all be on the same miserable level. I’ve been banned from Facebook groups – where vital information about dangerous clients is given to girls – because of my profile, the list goes on. These women would rather see me – and other women they’ve excluded raped – than allow them to have access to vital information.

I’ve had enough of the adult industry; truthfully I haven’t met many adults in it. The most destructive thing in this industry is not our government, laws or our sweet sweet clients. More damage is done to women by other women. There are few I trust, most of them love tearing successful women down, and I’ve had enough. Let them squabble amongst themselves.

I tried.